Originally Posted by
firebolt 
Hang in there flower, and keep working on making a happy life for yourself - regardless of what he is doing - you'll get there! Can you just get out this weekend? Plan a little get away for yourself, or with a friend? Why hang around and watch the trainwreck ? I remember the holiday anxiety all too well.... HUGS!
Yes, I need to work on my flower bed and do all of my hanging flower pots and patio pots as well. I can also take my dog to the park, do some shopping, or workout. I do find that weekends are better when I have something planned for myself. It usually doesn't work out for me very well when I plop myself on the couch and watch TV all weekend. It gives me too much time to think about what's happening around me. I do have trouble with friends though.
I think that I've lost a lot of friendships and I do blame the alcoholism. I'm ashamed of his drinking so I have gradually avoided social get togethers more frequently. I don't want anyone to really come over to our house and be subjected to it. He's not violent or anything; I'm just embarrassed TBH. I do have a very close friend, but she doesn't live in the same city and she has a large family. We schedule outings here & there. I have confided in her yet she doesn't really understand the alcoholism and has made suggestions that make me cringe. I have a work friend that I talk to a lot but I talk to her about anything BUT my AH. She doesn't know and that's because she's a bit of a gossip. Other than that, I'm afraid to admit that my friends are lacking. It's something that I've struggled with especially in the last few years. It's been better though.