Hang in there flower, and keep working on making a happy life for yourself - regardless of what he is doing - you'll get there! Can you just get out this weekend? Plan a little get away for yourself, or with a friend? Why hang around and watch the trainwreck ? I remember the holiday anxiety all too well.... HUGS!
"There isn't a way things should be. There's just what happens, and what we do." —Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky