The old magic trick isn't working w/a lot of pizzazz this week but you gotta keep trying. I had a long conversation w/a woman I know who's having a bad time. She's doing all the right things: seeing a psychiatrist, a counselor, going to Al-Anon and church, trying to exercise, talking to others. But she has this strong fear that she'll never "find" "happiness."
I think it's going down a rabbit hole to look for happiness or validation through achievements, love, or earnings. When an external source of gratification falls down on you -- and it always will, in the dark of midnight when you most need something to prop you up -- what are you left with, if that's how you define you?
She's also, understandably if you knew what she's been through, feeling pretty sorry for herself. I told her that old chestnut "what you focus on grows" -- a little trite, but it's been helpful to me, because I'm strongly inclined to be gloomy
For my own survival, I intentionally spend many minutes of every day enriching life as I perceive it. Not to do so -- to focus on failure and sources of bitterness -- is dangerous. Real serious bad stuff will come some time, so I figure I have to build strong reserves of goodness.
I doubt my words were at all helpful to her, but I think she liked just to sit for a little while together. And it helped me.
Sober on.