Do you know about the Abraham-Hicks discussion forum? It's similar to this one, only everyone there knows the Abraham teachings and it's great support for people taking that approach. There is sometimes discussion of addictions. Most of what Abraham talks about leads to being able to "be free of feeling jerked around by another person's hurtful decisions" or by anything at all. I've been listening, reading, attending a few workshops for seven years and recently started going to Al-Anon meetings. I find much compatibility and similarity between the Abraham teachings and Al-Anon. In our meetings, we don't focus on problematic behavior of others, but on how we can be aware of our own part in things and choose better feeling thoughts and behaviors. The Al-Anon program also encourages us to surrender to our Higher Power, thereby taking us out of "fix-it" mode, which is often anxiety mode.
I'm pretty well familiar with Abraham-Hicks, so if you want to discuss that approach, I'm here. I see many aspects of your posts that I could comment on and perhaps help clarify how an A-H perspective might help, but I'm not sure if you're still looking for that kind of commentary.