Welcome Nemi.
I'd suggest tipping your monuments away. This isn't about will-power. After all, it's our own will that kept us drinking! This is more about acceptance (sounds like you're getting there with that one ) and willingness to change and learn. Change to my life and to who I 'was' was so scary for me in the beginning because everything revolved around my drinking lifestyle. My relationship, my friendships, my self-image (my disasters, my unmanageable life, my broken relationships, lol). I was reluctant to embrace change really. I just wanted to stop alcohol affecting my life adversely. But it was when I finally embraced change as being completely necessary (because nothing changes if nothing changes) that sobriety became a more positive experience for me.
Have you considered AA or SMART or similar? I know you are young, but there are lots of other young recovering alcoholics and it could be useful to meet some of them and listen to their experience strength and hope. If yiu Google young people AA your country, likelihood you'll get the AA young people's message come up straight off, which could be an interesting read for you if you didn't already look at that.
There are some old duffers and middle aged alcoholics about as well, but I've learnt that, for me, it's best to focus on the similarities rather than dwell on the differences. If i find myself thing "yes, but they're..." I know I'm on the road to rationalising, and my AV (addictive voice) just LOVES it when I do that, and will soon start chiming in with thoughts of why a drink would be okay now, or then, or there, or here, or when, or if... and that's dangerous territory. So nowadays I try to focus on how people feel, and their experiences of being recovering alcoholics. Age, what or how much people drank, careers, gender, family background - they may be interesting, but they're not important. We can all learn from each other and support each other. And some of the old duffers in AA (I've since found out ) were young alcoholics themselves when they came into the rooms several decades since.
Anyway. Again, welcome to the forum. I hope you keep reading and posting. There are some amazing people on here and it's a real community.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB