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Old 05-07-2017, 12:52 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
honeypig
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,478
Hi, LQ--welcome to SR. There are 2 areas that need attention here, in my opinion:

1) One is the legal end of things. If you are married and jointly own the house, you may not have the right to make him leave. Many lawyers offer a free consult; I'd strongly suggest you make an appointment w/at least one to see what your rights and responsibilities are. You will almost certainly need a lawyer for your legal separation/divorce b/c it will be a complex process, involving support and custody of minor children, the business, and a home, as well as any other property you have.

2) The second is support for yourself, so you can make good decisions and then stick to them. So many of us here have wavered when our A came to us w/declarations of love and promises to "never let it happen again." I'd suggest Alanon for some in-person support as well as doing a lot of reading and posting here in the forum. If you are truly done, then there is no reason to delay taking action, but remember, you and your children have been part of this situation for years and will have your own recovery to tend to. Everything will not be healed and whole just b/c the A is no longer living in your home.

I hope you can spend some time doing as much reading as possible here. Don't miss the stickies at the top of the page; there is a ton of experience and wisdom there. And please do read and post on other threads. It's the members who make this place work--even if you think you're too new to contribute, even if all you can do is say "I know how you feel", it's still important.

Glad you found us, and hoping to hear more from you in the days to come.
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