Originally Posted by
dwtbd 
Choosing to not react by denying the urge and instead act to satisfy the urge is still a choice.
It wasn't like that. There was no choice or reaction involved, or cognizance of any urge either. Compelled comes closer, as fini says. It was an autopilot action that I didn't choose or not choose, I just did, and only afterwards did I wonder how on Earth did that happen. It wasn't always like that, but sometimes it was.
We don't all have to understand what it was like for others, but we should understand that our experiences may differ, and there aren't any global answers.