Wow, thank you all so much. There is amazing and practical advice on this thread. I haven't really been able to articulate my feelings well. The best I can come up with is feeling "blah" at times. Although yesterday, the AV had me think for a short while that the real me is just boring and grumpy! These are two adjectives that nobody would ever use to describe me! The down moods don't last long but some very negative thoughts pop up at that time. It's bloody scary actually. I just realized that perhaps I can't stay sober because I'm in fear of getting depressed. How ironic! It's very helpful to read about other's journeys at different stages. Thank you all.
But damn, I have to get ready for work! I woke up to early to get some stuff done but have been on here for over an hour. I believe it has been a very productive morning!!
Thanks have a great day all 😊