AlwysConflicted

Yes I very much agree and feel if we didn't live in such a money-driven consumerism society people could maybe feel more at peace. Most of us don't have basic lives anymore and go from one worry to the next, spend our time doing things we don't particularly like and enjoy out of necessity and end up neglecting doing that what we need to nourish our souls... I think a lot of joy and peace can be found in nature, a walk through a quiet forest or swimming in the sea where you are able to just simply enjoy the earth we're living in and take a moment to appreciate it as in everyday life (especially living in a city) you're going from one building to the next, traffic everywhere noise and chaos and I feel it cuts you off from the natural world and from nature which is so important for our mental states...

Also you mention and realise in your post that you may not have had gratitude for something you should have and this is something i've often considered as I too seem to lack gratitude for most things and simply take things for granted. I think at least acknowledging this behaviour and realising you should start to count your blessings rather than your shortcomings is the best anyone can do as many people I know would never even take this into consideration..We have come to expect certain things in life and until it's taken from us only then do we seem to realise how lucky we were to have it in the first place, especially if health related.

I often feel that if I was more grateful in general I wouldn't be abusing and pushing my limits as much as I do but as much as I try to tell myself and think about how lucky I am in some areas I still seem to just expect it and take it for granted. Another why, another disappointing trait.

Ultimately I think addiction can make a person selfish and disconnected, my addiction has been very isolating and the last things on my mind at the time were going out into nature and doing the things which help me escape in the best of ways but in my recovery although I often still want to isolate and binge watch tv episodes or something else where I can easily escape, i've found that making myself do these things has been the best thing ! I've noticed both times I relapsed was when I began to get lazy and quit putting effort into doing things which made me feel alive and rather began searching for those quick instant gratification things instead!

Definitely going forward something to keep in mind and not allow myself to fall back into that lazy and isolated frame of mind!