I read through this before bed last night and had this long reply. I was so happy to read through this thread and post. Then hit reply and NOPE. I guess it wasn't meant to be.
I relate to everything on here. My using baffles me, makes me sick, makes me broken, hurt, busted, depleted, down right self demoralisation. There is no reason for it because I have spent 20 years trying to do it on my own.
people in china would tell me, 'just surrender already' I would get so dang mad and think I don't want to keep doing this to myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cunning, baffling, and powerful.
Please keep posting. Tea and always great writers as well!! I would give up my addiction for hoarding anyday.. lol
have a good day!! make it a sober day.