Thank you Mpie for the thoughtful response. As I've said before, there's a part of me that feels like I'll never be "normal" again. I have zero alcoholics/addicts in my family, my parents have been together since they were 15, and so I gave my best and my all with unconditional love and loyalty as I've been taught, not realizing what addiction truly meant... to the point where I lost my sanity. I can rarely hang out with my friends anymore bc usually they wanna all go out for drinks, and I can't even look at alcohol or see anyone tipsy bc I hate it so much. I don't even want to experience anything remotely positive that involves alcohol bc I somehow view it as the universe being condescending.
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I grew up in the same kind of home, and could not for the life of me understand where my codependency came from . The book 'Conquering Codependency and Shame' helped me SO MUCH in seeing some of the roots of my issues!