Originally Posted by
AnvilheadII 
he is who he is bc of what his alcoholic father put him through.
yeah, NO.
that's trying to find an EXCUSE for his inexcusable behaviors, which you stated in part to be:
He's been arrested 15 times, he's been beaten up without knowing what happened, he's woken up in jail with a broken arm not knowing how he got there, he's been peeled off the cement and taken to a gas station by a helpful stranger who called me to come and get him, he lost his career due to embarrassing himself due to his drinking
a lot of us had lousy childhoods, with alcoholic or abusive parents, and not every one of us had that kind of alcoholic rap sheet. in fact often the predictable trait of the ACOA is to be OVERLY-responsible, over-achievers, those who care about others too much.
knowing or finding all this out didn't deter you.....somehow you found someone with this laundry list of bad behavior ATTRACTIVE indicates you chose to look past those things and see what you wanted to see.
Many of those things (aside me coming to get him from the gas station) happened years prior to our relationship. When we started dating, his life was in a seemingly great place in comparison, he was going to weekly therapy... the incident that happened was what made me put my foot down with his drinking... he started going to aa, went to therapy more regularly, and still maintained his love, respect and thoughtfulness towards me, until the last 2 months of our relationship. I looked past those things because I believed in him, I believed people can better themselves, he HAD bettered himself significantly, he had a good heart and gave me wonderful love and care until the last 2 months, and I didn't have extensive knowledge on addiction... until the last couple months where I changed my approach. And when I wasn't getting what I needed, and when I saw him discontinue taking care of himself, when I saw a shift in his behavior, I gave him 2 months, and then I made my decision to separate for a bit.
Please don't assume you know the details of our relationship or assume that I fabricated my vision of him. he was good to himself and amazing to me until he wasn't anymore, and I only put up with it for 2 months. Had I stayed for years, it would be a different story.