Mpie9

You don't have to have alcoholic parents in order to be a codependent. My parents both love and supported me in everything i did. My mom was in recovery all throughout my life and never drank, she stopped when I was born. My parents fought a lot and my dad controlled my mom/didnt accept her and i think that was my blueprint or what i thought was normal and that carried over. Maybe there was some chaos growing up that you were trying to control? It could be many things, or maybe you believe that unconditional love exists in intimate relationships (i am not speaking of parent-child relationships). This could be viewed as controversial, but having unconditional love in intimate relationships appears to suggest that no matter what someone does to you, you will still love them. My bf used to tell me love is unconditional to keep my around. I disagreed whole heartedly; I could be in an abusive relationship, he could beat me up and I could still love him. Does that mean I should stay? I used to say the same thing about having no issues outside of drinking... if only, if only he would stop...right? What about all the underlying issues that cause him to drink? Surely you can't respect someone who can't respect themselves, you can't trust him. Without respect or trust, what is there? A funny, insecure guy you get along with. That was my issue. We deserve more. You sound so similar to me, I thought i knew what love was, I'm 29, SO scared to leave and not finding someone else. Know your worth and HIS loss, and move forward.

HUGS