I married my second husband after a very brief period of sobriety, based in part on the fact that my first husband had remained sober almost from the beginning (he had a bit more drinking to do after his first AA meeting but got sober for good a short time later). IOW, I had the same sort of unwarranted optimism.
What I learned is that it's truly impossible to know when someone has reached the point where they're ready for recovery. One was, one was not. It's not like taking your car to the garage and getting it fixed. The car doesn't have a mind of its own--it doesn't demand to be taken down from the rack because it's just FINE, thank you very much, and blame you for having a problem with the way it's smoking and leaking oil and running on bald tires.
My second husband took himself off the rack, and continued to drive his malfunctioning way. I had to leave, because he simply wasn't THERE. He wasn't ready for recovery and it was killing me to watch him self-destruct.