see i refused my diagnosses i was raised in a world ending religion and they drew first blood will i ever be off medication well when you hear voices telling to slit your dads throat and do something to the wound probally not does it mean i'm weak no there has been none like me in history all my addictions given all up in one day by what i thought was the Golatic Cosmic Force i will right a tell all book of every so called sin except when it would only harm two women adultry both i'm shamelesss Randy G taught me to be shame less boleo told me to face all my fears drinking again was number one there is no mystic because there is no god period see when i returned to aa after threating to shatter a mans jaw for spreading stigma and i meant it i made amends but when i walk out that door to make amends i said to hell with everything i ever heard about god ill go out and find em i found em in the abyss dead Christ was a Yogi nothing more no prophet because the decoded bible there is no rapture except in your head which the great Buddha taught way before see i gave up poker and Study sometimes 20 hours a day even while drinking searching for god from the Sumerian Tablets to New Age I studied with eidetic memory theres a certian religion i want to bury and i'm bound and detumend to