Future tripping, fear of the unknown, fear of not getting something we want, fear of losing something we have are all common to many alkie~addicts. Accepting each 24 hrs for what they are. Educate yourself about AVRT.
You have the power to not drag yourself to the liquor store. You can make healthy choices. Separate you, from the other voice in your head. That's the beast. It wants you to suffer, to add to your anxiety, fears. You can sit with uncomfortable, thoughts, feelings, physical & emotional pain. You can get through the anxiety with out self medicating. Alcohol will only offer a short relief. Than anxiety will implode.
If all else fails, find an HP and utilize in times of weakness. Or do both. Surround yourself with other alkies~addicts. Alcohol isn't a reward for the alcoholic. It's toxic. It poison's every organ, our blood, our cells. It crushes our hopes and dreams. It's a wild, vicious animal. It's plans are to kill us and the people we love.
It causes pain to ourselves and others. It keeps us from being healthy, effective people. You do have a say in this matter. It's always a choice. You can choose one of two paths. You can choose the healthy one.
You can do this!... Become the person your meant to be.