Thanks,
I'm glad I'm not the only one that has tried this and I don't see any reason for it to continue or any reason to bring it up with the AH. I'll just let him be him and me be me. I do however feel that it is my business if the person I'm married to is drinking and hiding it. If he's an adult, he needs to act like one and behave like a married man should. I realize I have no control over if he chooses to do that or not and I honestly don't want to call all the shots for anyone, even if I had children I wouldn't want to have that responsiblity. I know my nagging helps nobody so what do we do with the inner frustration of watching someone have to medicate themselves? I honestly feel I have no right to nag or say anything anymore after taking a hard long look in the mirror and realizing that my side of the street has been anything but clean. I have done my part to fix that but the cigarettes are a hard addiction to break, I'm down to 1/2 of what I used to smoke and learning to live without pain killers unless it is a very very bad day where I can hardly walk.
Basically, I find that my problem is that I don't say anything, don't say anything and it builds and builds into frustration until I want to blow up, then it comes out like a tornado or I begin self-medicating so I destroy the feelings. I don't want to do either! I'm aware enough to know that it usually happens within about two weeks of a "new bargain" I'm seeing the pattern. Awareness is fine, but what to do with it is quite another thing.
Hugs,
~FaithChaser