Zen I understood your whole post. We do surround ourselves with like minded people...hard core drinkers. On that same token I got to where I would just drink at home. The bickering started to wear on me. Seems like by the 7th round they all turned on each other!! Imagine that. Also the DUI worry...putting others in danger driving after a full night out. So I ended up making sure I stocked up so I didn't have to go back out. I would drink it all just because it was there. The idea of a wine cellar always made me laugh. I would never keep it stocked! So I holed up at home...one by one pushing everyone away. I knew I was about to embark on a sober life and it was my way of divorcing them all. Lonely sometimes. But man I love waking up without the hangover ...panic attacks are slowly leaving me. It does take time to find new sober friends. I live in a population of 3200 so it is REALLY hard. We will though. It will happen. I relate to your entire post. Take care...