Originally Posted by Txbuttercup

I know how you feel, spooky. Death is a real possibility for my AH, and I feel if I do or say the right thing at that right moment it may save his life. I feel an obligation, that his life is in my hands at times. "If only he knew 'X', he wouldn't do this!" I've been certain I had the magic key, the last being a website with brain scans of alcoholics that showed how long it takes to repair, even during sobriety. I realize how naive that was now. I was horrified. Him, not so much.

I am not particularly religious, but at an alanon meeting someone likened this to thinking you're God, that you and you alone have the power to influence and change the hearts of those you love. By interfering so deeply, we are putting ourselves between them and God, cutting off that connection. If we back away, the "big man" can do his work, and unfortunately for some, that means taking away their pain in the most permanent of ways. Don't know if I agree, but it made me think.

I'm sorry for your pain, please keep us posted.