FallenAngelina

I encourage you to keep developing your participation in the Al-Anon community because it's not your job to police his drinking. As was said, he doesn't have a problem with drinking, you do. Many of us get caught up in the belief that everything would be fine if our loved one just stopped drinking, so "drinking" becomes the thing we try to prevent. In Al-Anon, we keep the focus on ourselves, not the alcoholic and this is just basic, good relationship advice. What anyone focuses upon is what grows and right now you're focused on his drinking and hiding. To change your experience, you can't change him, you have to change how you look at things and this is where Al-Anon can be a huge help. A-Anon isn't about getting away from the alcoholic or about getting him to stop drinking. It's about learning how to create a life in which our own happiness is the focus and supporting others as they do the same. Al-Anon is about fashioning a life that is fulfilling and meaningful for you, no matter what anyone else chooses to do. Your happiness is never truly dependent upon your husband's drinking, even though it seems right now that perhaps it is. You do not have to monitor his drinking or "catch" him or prove anything. All you have to do is get more practice with keeping your focus on you. There's enough wonderful stuff in you to keep you happy for 20 lifetimes. Truly, there is.