Hi Steely, I know it's only words but please please don't feel ashamed. I've broken wrists and my ankle by falling over drunk and given myself black eyes and countless mysterious bruises. I also broke my collar bone after trying to escape out the window of a room I had drunkenly locked myself into. On the third floor. I hardly ever let my mind go back to that time and place but the point is, all those injuries healed and yours will too. You will recover from this, physically and emotionally and you have nothing to feel ashamed about. I sometimes feel I post on here far too much but right now I can't imagine my life without SR. I think I would definitely be drinking again if I didn't check in here every day. Maybe that will change in time but right now it's what I need and you already know that you need it too.
And your line, 'it went from one drink to madness in a split second' how powerful is that? Such an amazing reminder of the realities of drink for us. That line cuts through all the advertising and glamorisation of alcohol and says it like it is. I've written that line at the front of my gratitude journal and underlined it many times. That line will be in my thoughts every time I feel tempted to drink. So no more shame. You should feel proud that you're helping others so much. Thank you