You can talk to him when he's sober, sure....but I am guessing you have....and he's still drinking. I'm sorry - I know what it's like. Their drunken "love" feels VERY unauthentic.
I talked to my xabf until I was blue in the face. I cried, and pleaded and threatened to leave. Finally, I am long gone...and he is still drinking.
I'm sorry you are going through this - it has nothing to do with you, and to an extent, your husband is right - you have to make yourself happy.
My ex once said to me - "you are the only one that has a problem with my drinking." I could not see it at the time, but he was absolutely right. THat is the life he wants to live, and he has every right to it.
It's NOT the one I want to live, and it was up to me to change that.