So sorry you find yourself in this Cass! I can only add that while painful, let him go and rejoice that his gig was up now and not 20 years down the line with a bunch of kids. He sounds pretty mental and living a sober program for the rest of your life is no picnic for the addict OR the addict's partner (and in their case, they are BOTH). Find your silver lining that you dodged a long term bullet to your heart.