Wow! Only stopped by for a quick check in, but some fantastic posts above, I will come back and re-read later in the week - thank you so much. This is a special place on the internet!
Delizadee - really relate to what you're saying about separating the AV from yourself and seeing it as a different entity. Just watching it pass. Playing it forward has also helped me, and I find it particularly useful to think about some drinking dreams I've had recently and how awful I felt in the dream about having let the AV win.
Toots - Brilliant that you have such a supportive husband. I'm lucky that way too and knew that I had to be completely honest with him when I stopped drinking. He was aware that I had a problem, but was still shocked to hear about just how bad it had become - how I was hiding alcohol from him and sneakily disposing of the empties... Telling him felt like drawing a line under the behaviour, and the support he's shown me would make it so much harder for me to go back to the same behaviour.
x