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Old 04-26-2017, 11:48 AM
  # 175 (permalink)  
stargazer016
Quit 4/17/15
 
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,070
Babs, I remember feeling ambivalent about a lot of things in my life after I hit one year sober. I worked so hard to make it through the first year, and then it's like"What's next for me?" I think most of that first year, my life centered around not drinking and making life decisions that supported that goal. My life had a focus that made decision making more cut and dry for me. "Will this choice help to keep me sober or not?"

By the second year, I experienced some self doubt on whom I really was as a person. Alcohol had been a lifetime partner with me, and now I had to make my way in the world without its' "support." I began to discover who I really am and what is important in my life. I had to grow up and learn to be an adult and make decisions. It was the start of a period of emotional growth that began to bloom in my second year. I feel the further along I go not drinking, the more confidence I have in the choices I make, and that's a pretty cool feeling.

I think self doubt is really just our Addictive Voice planting little traps for us, trying to get us to drink again. It was always an easy choice to drink, rather than make a tough decision. I have made good choices and bad choices in sobriety, that's just life. If I make a bad decision, I chalk it up as simply a learning experience and I will know better the next time!
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