Originally Posted by
Mtphc 
Yes thank you, I do accept my alcoholism, I have reached a stage where I just don't know what to do. I'll stop for a while and then I think I'll be ok and buy a pint, at first I can "control" my consumption, and it goes well so-to-speak, but then that one day comes out of the week when I'm off from work and decide to drink in the morning, and nothing good comes out of this, want to drink in moderation but I can't it's a freaking battle when I make that attempt
That's good- acceptance is the essential first step. Control, moderation and "thinking you'll be OK" have to be removed from your vocabulary though - none of them are possible.
So what's the next step? Maybe meetings. Maybe seeing a counselor. Maybe spending a lot more time here on SR and joining a monthly group thread. But whatever you choose you need to take action. Have you ever participated in a recovery community ( either online or in person ) before?