This is exactly what my XAH used to do, and looking back I'm pretty sure a lot of it had to do with him being irritable from withdrawals. And then when he was high he didn't want to talk because, hello! Talk about buzzkill. Not saying this is what's going on with your H, of course. Just what I went through.
Walking on eggshells is just no way to live. I'm with someone new now and it's amazing how different things are. The other day we had a squabble, but put it behind us... sort of. It was still nagging at me, so i called him the next day. History told me not to do this- just let it go. It's never good to reopen a can of worms! But I couldn't help it. I called him and told him it was still bothering me. He said:
"Listen, I'm gonna make myself a cup of coffee."
In my mind, this was his way of saying, "I'm getting off the phone now. I don't want to deal with you."
But what followed was:
"Would you like me to bring you over a cup?"
I told him no thanks. He said he was sorry that he hurt my feelings and that was never his intention. And then 15 minutes later? He freaking showed up at my house, even though I told him I didn't need him to, because he knew I really did want him to and he CARED how I felt.
It was mind-boggling! I'd gotten so used to my ex just giving me the bare minimum and acting like that was more than I deserved.
YOU deserve more, too.