I had to get out of my situation with my ex, because I was putting more effort into his sobriety than he was. I was losing sleep, crying all the time, scared to death for his life, and he accused me of DRAMAAAAA. It's not drama, it's love and accountability.
We broke up three months ago, and I'm miserable. My heart is so broken. I'm still so in love with him, and I think about him EVERY second of every day. But I tell you what, I have no NEW hurt. There's nothing NEW happening to throw me into hysteria. I worry about him, I'm depressed, my world makes no sense... but things are uneventful, and there's something refreshing about that.
By no means am I telling you to break up with him. I just knew my head and heart couldn't take the constant pain anymore, and he wasn't doing what he needed to do to address is issues and stay sober, and our relationship became unacceptable for my standards and for my sanity. I realized he was going to continue dragging me down, and fortunately I have a strong support system who made me realize it wasn't worth losing myself, more than I already had. And there was NOTHING I could do to get him to change ANYTHING. It was all up to him.
Stay strong, and remember to keep loving yourself.