I used the 12-step program to work through that stuff with an AA sponsor who'd walked that path before me, both herself and to accompany lots of other alcoholics in recovery. AA is not for stopping drinking, it's for learning how to Live Sober, and deal with all that kind of stuff. Why not take a look into the program if you haven't had a chance to investigate it yet?
It takes a while for people to start to want to put their trust in us again though. And rightly so to be honest. They have every right to protect themselves from becoming collateral damage again. And plenty of them would have heard our 'I'm cleaning my act up' stories before. Once we accept our part in things it becomes easier not to feel so affronted or heart broken by their lack of trust in us.
Give it time, eh.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB