Originally Posted by
loveandmagic 
Sometimes I feel like I was too hard on him, but I know I just wanted him to be healthy and I needed my needs met too. It just blows my mind that he's content in his misery. And that he gave up the beautiful life we could have for a stupid, miserable life. Or worse, that he's going to turn his **** around and give the life and love I feel I deserve to some younger babe, make babies with her, and live happily ever after.
I have had this thought more times than I care to count over the last couple days. Almost to the point of making myself sick.
Here is what I came up with. Maybe it will help you; maybe not.
I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be in a healthy relationship with a partner. Not in a codependent relationship with a Taker.
I deserve to be in a relationship where my partner takes my wants, needs, and feelings into consideration more often than they don't.
I deserve to be in a relationship where I am not high-fiving my partner because they did basic things that "normal" folks do everyday (You didn't get completely s-faced today; high five, you got out of bed and participated with the family; high five, you didn't completely lie to my face about (insert subject); high five, etc.)
The truth is this
When my fiancé was sober she was an amazing and kind person.
When she was drinking she was a liar and manipulater who would do and say anything it took to get or deny her next drink.
I couldn't have the sober version without the drink version.
I deserve better
And truthfully from the content I see in your posts loveandmagic so do you.
Hugs and support