((((Missy)))),
I'm happy that your Dad showed up. I think calling him before the gatherings is a great idea.
I can relate to your situation. It's both my parents who hurt me. My Dad, when I was younger....he died 16 years ago. My Mom, everyday. She was raised in a very cold, unfeeling, unemotional family. I don't ever remember feeling loved by her. She let us know daily that we were burdens and her "job" was to provide food and shelter, nothing more. I spent most of my life fighting to get her to love me. I finally gave up. I quit. With the help of this program I was able to let go. I now have a new family in AA. I feel so loved and am learning that it's safe to love in return.
I wish you the best.