thanks everyone for your responses. i am coming around. i ws really negative when i first came to this site and the program. i don't know if anyone remembers how negative my profile was at the beginning. probably not, because i don't think i drew much attention.
i feel like im trying, but when i listen to people and see it from the outside perspective, i really am not doing EVERYTHING i could be to get help. i just don't want to be alone. and im afraid that even if i get my act together, my family and close friends will still not talk to me. how do you know they will take me back after i prove myself? i don't like the unknown.
but i am going to call the dual addiction doctor on monday to at least see if i can calm the feelings down a little.
thanks for all your support. please don't leave me. at least with this site, i don't have to feel totally alone.
-Psych