I find a good tool for getting through events and actually enjoying them, is shifting my focus to other people. No one is really looking at me or caring whether I drink or not. I get a club soda, put a smile on my face (even if I don't feel like it, initially), then look around for someone who might need company or encouragement. Is someone's grandma sitting there alone? go talk with her and ask her about her grandchildren. If it's a low budget party, do they need help with setup or cleanup, or keeping the buffet stocked? You can ask ahead of time for an assignment.
The funny thing I notice now about work parties and weddings, etc, is there are actually a lot of people there not drinking, or only having one. I see them now that I'm sober, and they're usually the ones I talk with. I talk with the drunk people too, but only briefly ... reminds me why I don't drink.