Hi, Peach, ((((hugs)))) in case you still could use some.
Forgiveness is letting go of the hurt and anger and it takes time to get to that point. Taking time to work through your feelings is a good thing. I also think it might help to keep in mind that even when you do forgive his actions, there isn't an automatic reset button. It'll take time to rebuild trust even after you've let go of any hurt and/or anger.