I still struggle because I start to feel punished when he plays on my emotions and behaves as though I am abandoning him
that might work if he was FIVE and it was his first day at kindergarten. but how unattractive in a full grown man. how needy. how pathetic.
so that next time if he should relapse and disappear again,
do me a favor? take the IF out of it. assume it will happen as surely as rain will fall and wind will blow. make it a fact that just has not happened YET.