(((PsychoMess )))
Welcome, my name is LeAnne and I'm an alcoholic. I don't know what your drug of choice is, but it sounds as if it is kicking your butt. Don't feel bad, you're not alone.
My feelings on your family and friends is they are scared and angry. Scared that they will lose you to the disease and angry over the disregard it has for lives. My guess is they are distancing themselves because they've seen it and heard it before. Reach out for help. Go to some meetings. Don't let your bottom go any lower. Lead by example. After your loved ones see that you mean business this time, they will more than likely come around. Think how hard it must be to watch someone you love throw it all away and try to take their own life. That is hurtful and very scary. Pick up the phone and call your sponser, get some help. Keep coming back and vent. One thing for certain, you don't have to go through this alone.