smarie...Oh, trust me, when you make real changes...when anything impinges on their zone of comfort....they notice!
My situation was much different, than yours....but, when I made some new boundaries with my adult son (I stopped making any push toward AA and ignored any quacking).....
He said to his brother and sister..."Something is wrong with mom..she is not herself...something is going on". LOL!
A time, later, I said to him "I want to apologize to you..because I know that I have enabled you, at times. I should not have done that".....He replied..."You did not enable me...don't put yourself down..that is the last thing you need"...LOL.....
Trust me...they notice..and they react.
You have improved, enormously, over when you first started posting here!!