Also to note, I haven't noticed him changing in the way he needs to in order to stop. After the last bender he was supposed to go to inpatient treatment for a month. Then it turned into outpatient for a month. Then it turned into what he actually did which was 10 days of outpatient followed by what should have been staying at a new sober house. He went to the sober house and hated it. Didn't like that he had a curfew so after lasting two nights there went to live at another sober house that has 3 other guys and no curfew. Can't say that sounds like a sober house to me but at best, 3 roommates who may be dry. In my heart I do not believe he is living at a legitimate sober house.
Not to mention, when he spent the month at his mom's house detoxing and getting the treatment, he reconnected with his son who lived there. He said it changed him. Sadly, he's now been back in the city for three weeks and has seen his boy 2-3 times only on Sunday for a few hours.
To me this doesn't show me he is putting in the grit to change. Whether it be for his sobriety or his family situation. Just more words. He wants to plug into the same and short of breaking up, I know I cannot. My body won't let me go back to the way things were. It just won't. You can't force someone to do the work to change, so what do I do......change myself. the universe has a way of either pushing the change onto them, or moving you out of the way for them to find someone else who is fine with status quo.