Lpg- welcome. Scary stuff, isn't it? SR is a very good starting point. The blackouts and abberant behaviour are unsafe. You also mentioned feeling manic- depressed. That really sounds like a visit to a doctor and further assessment may be a good idea. I have mental health issues- which were solved- for an hour or so with heavy drinking. They were always worse because the booze masked their effects on me. Meetings- AA/SMART 9I do both) are also a good idea- because regular face to face support for me is very necessary. I do not believe in luck or willpower- alone. Keep reading and posting. There are a lot of useful threads- one for Whining, a 24 hour check in, the month you joined (thus Class of April 2017). There is also a women's only thread. Keep posting, sharing, reading, growing.
Empathy and support to you. PJ