Thanks Maudcat. I looked back on all of the threads I've started on this forum about my alcoholic sister. Wow, I was really distressed over my sister. I was really in agony.
Although, it may not seem to be so, I have come a long way. My sister is worse than ever. I have more peace than ever. I can't tell you how many times my life stopped to "help" my sister. I think I'm waking up more and more each day.
Since my first post on this forum in May 2014 I have been to ACoA meetings, individual therapy, Codependent support group. They all helped a lot. Living and acknowledging reality helps too. Looking back at my first post in 2014 when I stated that my sister has been drinking every single day since 2010 --could be longer. What made me think I could help her? It was all new to me and I was so dumb.
I can't tell you how many times I cried for her. Cried for the tragedy of her past and the trauma she went through. I have enormous amount of empathy for her but what is the use of crying for what cannot be changed?
I wish I knew what I know now.