Hi refiner
No therapy.
I too broke and was too busy trying to fix my marriage and the alcoholic to work on myself but I definitely knew something was not right in my life. Came out of my fog only a few years ago. It was like a ray of beautiful sunshine of out constant darkness to finally put my finger on the issues.
I'm an avid reader and I love psychology in general along with law and crime as an interest as well as related tv shows. I must have read about 200 book by now working daily on myself and also for my precious daughter. She needs the best mom and home environment I can give her in an emotional and psychological sense. I cannot go through a day thinking of her ending up as miserable as I was. I am not perfect but I try my darnest at least.
I will still take a few minutes each day and Google / research if emotions or an event bothers me. The Internet is amazing resource and I'm so glad it is there now while I'm working on myself. No travel needed to old school library haha. And quicker.
I have compassion for my mom she had her own path in life that lead her to be the way she is. But importantly I take care of my needs first. I set limits with certain aspects and allow grace and kindness for others. I live for me in my best interest and not because of her and she treated me.
I still keep my mom and my daughters father in my daughters life but with an open mind and watchful eye when I see I need to step in. She comes first over their behavior. She deserves her loved ones outside of my experience with them and I hope she will someday have the relantionships she needs from them if all goes well.