Really???
Hi all, long time since I last posted, so here's a brief history. 18 year old stepdaughter (P) has lived with me @ her dad since she was 11. Her mother is A. P had a very difficult early childhood living with her mother, as you would expect. Came to us at 11, started having real issues around 12-13 with self-harming, depression etc. Got her counselling from the get-go, preempting she would suffer, had specialist COA counselling and in later teens was under the Child Psych. Too many issues to go into in detail, but it's safe to say her mother screwed her up.
Recently, over the past year or so, she's been a nightmare. She's drinking (mostly at weekends) smoking pot, is disrespectful and rude. We are a working household (her mother never worked), and have encouraged her to work since she was legally allowed at 14. About six weeks ago she walked out of a weekend job, stating she doesn't want to work for "capitalists" or employers who don't understand her "mental health issues" (by that she means they should understand if she doesn't want to go to work because she's in a bad mood and wants to sleep all day!!). Anyway, I've given her short thrift about her attitude (yes, I do understand some of it is her age), and basically have told her to shape up or ship out. The stress she causes is unbelievable! However, she will regularly break down, and go on and on about her terrible childhood, and how no-one understands what it was like for her etc., how no-one wants to listen and no-one cares. She will go on and on about how her mental health is down to her mother. Just to explain, she spent up until the tail end of last year not seeing her mum, then decided she wanted to - her choice and she was old enough to make it. Contact has been sporadic, but they text regularly. Anyway, the last time she broke down, last week, after she'd been screaming and shouting, swearing and crying about how crap her life was because of her mum for 10 minutes (I had literally just got in from an 8 hour shift), I put up my hand and said "enough! I really don't want to hear this, again! The person you should be screaming & shouting at is your mother, not me!!" I told her to go away out of my sight, which she did. Things were awkward for the next day or so, but settled. Fast forward to Thursday. She goes to see her mum, and I'm really hoping that she'll talk to her, about her childhood etc. But no, apparently they just "hung out" like "friends". Her mother showed her pictures of when she was in REHAB!!!!!! and they bonded over a curry and a GLASS OF WINE!!!!!!! like jeez, what the actual hell!!! Of course, I haven't said anything, and I won't because I just want peace, but she did say that she was "conflicted" about getting another job because, and I quote "you have to understand that for 12 years I was neglected in a house where no-one worked, and it's only been in the last six years that I've lived in a normal working house. So, I'm conflicted with working and not working, and you must understand that". I honestly kid you not, that is what she said.
I'm so sorry for the long post, but I'm feeling pretty cheesed off. Can anyone else see what I'm seeing here? Please!!!