Originally Posted by
Plink 
AS(he's 43) is supposedly in recovery (moved a few hours away) so we do not have constant contact. Supposedly cleaned up his act, went through the courts and has been following his probation. He has a job, a place to live. But, and the big but for us his family, is that he is with a woman who was also an addict (doing drugs with him, that's how they met) she has a very long history and also 2 children that is now with her Mom.
He is contacting to see what we are doing for Easter. I have told him in the past that we are not ready to "welcome" her into our life. She needs to prove herself to us. Get her kids back...etc, etc. And of course, he always wants to push the envelope. His sisters have not seen him since we did an intervention and then a visit in Rehab almost 2 years ago...where he then slapped us in the face and decided to "live his own life".
Are we out of line? expecting too much?
Is it wrong for us to say that he is welcome(his daughter will be here) but, as of right now we cannot handle her.?
he is with a woman who was also an addict.
he then slapped us in the face and decided to "live his own life".
It sounds like you are not happy with your sons own choices for his own life.
There also seems to be some control issues.
She needs to prove herself to us. Get her kids back...etc, etc.
Your son has a right to live his own life and he also has a right to love who his heart loves. If it feels like a slap in the face then you are taking it personally.
As for his gf she owes you nothing. She should not be required to jump through hoops for your approval. If she owes anybody anything it is herself and her kids.
Now you can choose to punish your son for loving her or (as long as active addiction isn't a fact) you can open your mind to and give her a chance.
It sounds like your son just wants to be a part of your life. If he is clean don't let fear steal that from you. Lay down your arms
Passion
Recovering addict