Originally Posted by
Muddled 
I really do think she tries but she is just so overwhealmed by everything that she falls back into those habits, I would say she has tried maybe not as much as I'd like her to have. And she I actually perfect for me when she can maintain her sobriety, I think we both just don't know how to get her that help now
"Just trying" doesn't cut it when you're an alcoholic. I've been in two marriages to alcoholics, and I'm eight years sober, myself. For an alcoholic to get sober and STAY that way--happily--takes a tremendous amount of ongoing effort and a real plan. Because it's the "happy sobriety" that is the key. If sobriety sucks, why do it? That's what causes alcoholics to pick up again--sometimes even after a pretty long stretch of not drinking.
Help is as near as your nearest AA group. And YOU can't help her get sober. It takes the help of other people who GET what she's dealing with. Getting sober isn't a "together" thing--it's something she has to want for herself, and she has to navigate her recovery herself.
And Al-Anon would be a good plan for YOU to keep the focus off her and on your own life, instead. If you are going to stick around for a while, you're going to need all the help you can get.