yeah, it might be time to up your "standards" and hit the brake pedal when you see the FIRST red flag.
when we have been dating someone for TWO years and have only "let" them meet our own children twice in casual settings, we are telling ourselves something is very wrong.
when we can list no less than four different drugs they are taking or have taken, something is very wrong.
when we somehow see them as "improve-able" and we are certain we can "guide them to their better selves", something is very wrong.