Hang in there. I am born into the pit of addiction and despair. I was an insatiable smoker. YEARS of abuse. I kept on it. Relapse. Start again...gain some more days...RELAPSE...F%CK this I WILL DO THIS...repeat. Finally I am looking at four years off the smokes on Halloween this year. I do the same with my alcohol addiction. You lose...when you quit trying. <3