Originally Posted by
zenchaser 
Obsession. I used to obsess about drinking, when I was going to drink, how to control my drinking, what I did while I was drinking, my shame about my drinking....
There is no separation here, zenchaser.
Your Beast was literally obsessed with consuming more alcohol, and with when IT was going to get ITs next fix. You were concerned with staying out of trouble as you fed your Beast ITs precious survival stuff, and were often shocked at some of the crazy things that you did in the course of service to your Beast.
Originally Posted by
zenchaser Now I find that I obsess about not drinking. It's on my mind constantly.
Your Beast is still obsessed with alcohol, as usual, only now, IT focuses on the length of deprivation. Your Beast is a depressed, dying creature, quite literally in despair. ITs own death by deprivation is on ITs mind. Poor thing.
Originally Posted by
zenchaser My question is, is the obsession about quitting also AV or is it normal because I've made such a big change?
The birth of the Beast creates a new, organizing principle in one's consciousness, centered around the Beast's survival agenda, and IT gives rise to a new persona, which is founded upon the
comprehensive style of thinking that we call the Addictive Voice.
Functions of the AV -
When the Beast's organizing principle, the addictive mandate, is replaced, via the Big Plan, with a new mandate centered around abstinence, one may undergo a significant, and possibly profound, personal reorganization. This reorganization will naturally be centered around the new organizing principle of the Big Plan -- the mandate to abstain.
Originally Posted by
zenchaser I have all these ideas about what recovery should look like that I get confused... it's about everything to do with living without it.
The Beast has ripped off much of your life, and “sobriety” is not the goal of AVRT-based recovery, which would only give the Beast some more of your life. Instead, the goal is secure abstinence, upon which you may build a future of your own choosing, as a non-drinker, free from the jaws of the Beast.
Through the lens of AVRT, the "process of recovery" that you are concerned with is simply a stage of addiction, where the Beast desperately tries to keep the addiction alive, and tries to postpone the Big Plan. If you can't quite see this, you may want to take note of the fact that you joined this forum in August 2010,
almost seven years ago.
AVRT is the addict's missing moral conscience as it pertains to the use of alcohol and other drugs, and the ACE is the reward for accepting responsibility for one's own conduct. The regeneration longed for by people struggling with addiction is not gained by waiting for a miracle, but by rising up against their Beast, and simply being miracles.
There is no process of recovery in AVRT, but only the aftermath of addiction. Trust yourself, and believe in your ability to abstain, which you have had all along. Allow yourself to simply enjoy the regeneration, and the return to your authentic self.