I am really sorry you are going through this- I really can't add anything that hasn't already been said, there are great responses albeit hard messages to hear.
Bottom line is, you have to take care of yourself first. You keep your affairs in order and part of that is keeping yourself healthy and whole, mentally, emotionally, physically. He is a toxic disease for you, his sickness makes you sick. You can't cure him, so give yourself a chance to heal yourself. You didn't cause it, so don't use guilt as a reason to stay stuck. You know you can't control it because he can't control himself, so let go. Whether that means some super strong boundaries or walking away, is up to you. You can't make his choice for him.
You deserve much better than you are allowing yourself. I hope you choose to walk towards the peace and happiness you so deserve. First you gotta deal with the tough stuff. But you will never go through this alone if you stick around SR.
