Originally Posted by TheHopeful

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for advice and/or insights on what made you want to seek help and get sober.

My boyfriend has been an alcoholic for about two years, or possibly longer, and I'm at a loss at how I can help him make the change he so desperately needs.

We have been together for 7 years and if I'm honest we have both been heavy drinkers for as long as I can remember. A lot of our activities together centered on drinking, and we'd usually drink at least a few beers every night, and then a lot more on the weekends.

About two years ago he lost his business and sunk into a depression. His drinking gradually increased and I began finding bottles of vodka, brandy, etc hidden away in odd places like his sock drawer, suitcases we never use, etc.

At first I didn't worry about it too much as his behavior hadn't changed and there weren't any noticeably bad effects.

However, gradually that all changed and he has since had so many bad experiences due to his drinking, from accidents and fights to trouble with the law.

I have stopped drinking completely in the hopes that it would help him stop too, but so far it has just annoyed him that we can't go out drinking together. Our relationship has deteriorated so much and part of me wants to leave but another part is scared that he will end up killing himself if I do.

Anyway, sorry this has gotten so long, my question is simply what made you want to stop? Was there a specific event or was it a gradual thing? Was there something you friends or family did that helped you finally get help?

I have tried talking to him about so many times it but he is very resistant to it and it usually just causes a fight. The only times we have been able to discuss it openly have been the "morning after" a bad situation has happened due to his drinking and he is feeling remorse. When this happens he always promises he will stop, but can't go more than a day or two without drinking again.

Everyone tells me I have to wait for him to reach bottom, but that is such a cliche, and I feel it can't continue this way for much longer before something truly terrible happens.