Originally Posted by
zenchaser 
I reaffirmed my Big Plan the moment I pulled myself out of that tailspin. That's the crazy part that is eating away at me, I thought I already had one. As soon as I put the brakes back on and told myself no, my AV lots it's power and I was back in control. I don't drink. I will not drink ever again and I will never change my mind.
Zen, please don't let it eat away at you, that's what IT wants. You didn't go into vertigo completely, you stopped at a couple of sips and immediately reaffirmed your Big Plan.
The way I see this incident, which will never happen again, is you've now made a Big Plan that is firmly set in stone, forever. Please go forwards, with no recriminations, no self-doubt; for those thoughts are the fodder the Beast thrives on and will force -feed you, in order to go on to suggest a drink as a solution.
This episode is firmly behind you. As you've stated "You will never drink again, and you will never change your mind".